Come laugh and cry with me as I detail my audacious quest for the world's perfect waffle. You'll learn valuable life skills like properly assembling a Geiger counter (yes, waffles are radioactive), when and how to use solenoid valves to prevent batterpocalypse, and why you should never, under any circumstances, attempt to modify a self-heating chunk of searing metal in such a way as to make it sentient. Join me for a whirlwind tour of my most ambitious Ruby hardware project yet. Even if the talk is terrible, you might get a questionably food-grade waffle out of the deal.