Come hear a tale of how one programmer wanted to write a delegation library. Knowing that the wise elders have always stated "it's not true until you measure it", the programmer decided to benchmark the alternatives. But this was no ordinary benchmark. Down paths winding and mysterious, the programmer wielded his trusty "gdb" and became proficient with the weapon they call "libgmalloc". Finally, this sinister benchmark led the programmer straight into the dark heart of the Ruby Garbage Collector! But fear not...this tale has a happy ending.