I've been fortunate to receive some great advice during my career. Some of it is pithy, some of it is practical, and some is the little things you learn when working at semi-functional organizations. By the flickering light of a projector, I'll pass along the my favorite pieces of wisdom and tell stories about when I applied those lessons. New folks will learn some tried and true tricks for success in the software industry. Experienced developers can nod along and be comforted by the fact that everyone has had the same bad experiences at one point or another. So pull up a chair (and a beverage) and gather around for storytime.