Stop trying to be a computer; you're a human! You know what humans are good at? Storytelling. Stop trying to write tests just to get a green test suite, and start telling rich, descriptive stories. Once you have a good story, then you can worry about the implementation details (wait, is testing a form of abstraction and encapsulation?!). In this talk, we look at writing tests as simply telling stories to the test suite. By telling stories about the application (methods, controllers, features, &c.) the suite holds the storyteller accountable for making those stories become, and stay, true.