It has been said that Ruby is a slow language, but that is not true. Numerous Ruby projects have shown that it is possible to write fast, scalable software using Ruby. Merb, for instance, is faster than any major PHP web framework. In this talk, Carl will show how to take the many available tools, such as ruby-prof, RBench, and kcachegrind, and turn any old Ruby into a speed machine. The tips and processes will be demonstrated with real world examples of optimizations that have been done to the Merb and Rails 3 projects.