Whether it's at the dinner table, on social media, or in the office break room, many of us like to talk about controversial topics. Yet all too often, these debates go badly -- and not just when participants have clashing beliefs and values. What's going on? We'll go over a variety of dynamics that can poison conversation, including interruptions, topic control, tone policing, and more. This talk goes beyond explaining why these behaviors are harmful and talks about how to address them when you observe them in others - or in yourself.